i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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