I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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