so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
