p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
