fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Randomize
