some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I am mentally ready for anal.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
