Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
