I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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