you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
