how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
