If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
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