We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
