therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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