Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize