ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
