I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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