My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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