I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize