OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
well you can't waste a boner
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize