Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize