I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
