but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
