Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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