You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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