and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
