ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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