her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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