it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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