im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
