i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
