My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
