He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Boobs are out for the taking
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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