I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
