i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
