I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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