i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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