i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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