he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
