I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
