Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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