Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
