I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
