I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
i out mim tonsoeep
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