I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You ruined the universe
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