if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
