Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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