By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
