I feel like I'm in dance class right now
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
