come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
