In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
the raccoons are back...
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