he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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