dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
