either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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