Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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