And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
