So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
