9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
