I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
