Nicole vs. Life
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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