I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
