HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
