I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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