Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
