I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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