WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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