i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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