I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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