I need help removing her.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
