had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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