I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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